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NVC Tip No. 5 “All we are ever doing is meeting needs” Part 2

by wayne ~ September 26th, 2018. Filed under: News.

NVC Tip No. 5 . “All we are ever doing is attempting to meet needs”.  Part two :

In our last offering, we explored the above concept of NVC from the perspective of how can this best support us to be more resourceful in our interaction with people who are stimulating discomfort or pain.  Plus sharing the idea about being more easy with ourselves and treating every interaction that does not go well as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Let’s take this a step further.  Imagine someone is communicating with you in a way that is NOT meeting your needs. So you take some time and connect with yourself through the four steps we covered last week.

1. Identify the Jackal Statements

2. Connect with the energy – That is the sensations and feelings.  Stay with them for some time.

3. Self enquire into the needs / longings.

4. Once connection arrives, explore new ways of being with this situation.

And you put in the effort and follow the above four steps.  Also maybe you get some empathy from an empathy buddy then you find yourself in a more resourceful and connected space.  The next STEP is to ask ourselves what needs is this other person attempting to meet and to give that some exploration as to what is going on for them.  This could be through our own self enquiry / the enemy images process / a NVC dance floor / using the feelings and needs cards /  maybe being in a space to give the other person empathy next time they are acting in the way we are not enjoying.

The main point here is to find the strength and determination to find out what  this person’s precious needs are.  As Marshall would say, “Never listen to the thinking. Always go for what’s in their heart.”

One way we explore this approach is in our Communicating Compassionately Workshop (NVC Foundation Training)  through the use of NVC Dance Floors.  This is a fantastic tool to grow our awareness and insight into ourselves and those around us, creating more harmonious and compassionate relationships.

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