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NVC Idea No.4 All we are ever doing is attempting to Meet Needs Pt. 1

by wayne ~ September 25th, 2018. Filed under: News.

“All we are ever doing is attempting to meet needs”.  Part one

Every action a person takes and any words a person uses are an attempt to meet a need.  Sometimes we are successful and the need is met, sometimes not and we get to mourn the unmet need.  Through our up bringing and life experiences ,we come up with habitual patterns that maybe once met our needs and maybe now no longer do. Yet we get locked into running the strategy over and over again and hoping for a different result.

Understanding this gives us a chance to explore how we can move through life in a different way.  Through each interaction we have we can ask ourselves, “Did that meet or not meet my needs.”  If yes, we can celebrate, if no, we can mourn and connect with the longing that is there and take some time to connect with the needs that are most longing to be met.  Then taking the space to connect with the needs we can explore from the beauty of that place other ways we could BE in those challenging situations and make some requests of ourselves on how to do things in a different way.

The key idea here is to not make what we are doing wrong, but to see it as a chance to grow and learn.  If we observe the Jackal language statements we are saying to ourselves or about others and then take the time and space to connect with the energy / feeling behind the Jackal, then from there we can start exploring the needs longing to be met.  There is often a mourning that comes up, then we open up to new possibilities and actions we can take.  One key tip is not to force or demand change, but be present and explore.

It’s about sitting with our discomfort and connecting with the sensations and feelings and making them okay.  This takes courage and patience yet is extremely rewarding.  Having the support of someone who can hold us and support us through this process makes the whole process much more effective and transformative in my experience.

A guideline on how to do this:
1. Identify the Jackal Statements
2. Connect with the energy – That is the sensations and feelings.  Stay with them for some time.
3. Self enquire into the needs / longings
4. Once connection arrives, explore new ways of being with this situation

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