Here is a great post about what Empathy is and isn’t. I like this one because it says its not about psychology or diagnosis. It is also not about fixing someone or making them feel better. Its all about connecting to the energy and been present. Thats all we have to do. Have a read love to hear your thoughts.
“Surfing Life Energy and watching the magic show” Marshall Rosenberg
“Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you’re on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. Are you with that energy right now? Thats empathy. No words – just been with that energy. When I connect with what’s alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I’m surfing.
To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you have studied, the harder it will be to empathise. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathise. Diagnosis and past experience can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn’t mean denying the past. Past experience can stimulate what’s alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?
If you think ahead to what to say next – like how to fix it or make the other person feel better – BOOM! Off the board. You’re into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy thats here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it’s like I wasn’t there. I call this ‘watching the magic show’. In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and relieves me from my ‘fix-it’ tendencies.”
I got this quote out of the ‘Mediate your life training manual – 5th Addition by John Kinyon and Ike Lasater page 42